Apple Cider Vinegar–Disgustingly Miraculous
Apple cider vinegar (or as the homeopathic-remedy peeps call it, ACV) stanks like a sweaty foot that’s been in an already-funky-sweaty smelling shoe all day + the Devil’s breath + toe jam from athlete’s foot + revenge. When you open a bottle, the funk is pervasively unavoidable. It is funky fresh. Meaning, the funk is fresh. It’s like a fermented and putrid, grown-up version of Sam’s perfume concoction in Attaboy, Sam! And finally, ACV sort of makes me angry and hate someone, yet no one in particular. BUT. Aside from all that, when you find the strength to get past ALL THAT–it is a grosty, little miracle worker. Here is how I have used it:
Acne: For the past couple days, I have used ACV on some major zits. I am talking ones that are cyst-type acne. Those who suffer from acne know what I mean by cystic-type zits. They are huge and have the capability of scarring (and scaring). Well, with upcoming weddings and events, I don’t have no kind of time to deal with cystic acne–no ma’am. I had been using some kind of zit zapper stuff, which usually works. It didn’t this time. So, I did some faint research. I read that ACV can help tame the acne.
I got a bottle of the Braggs Organic Apple Cider, as one blog suggested. Instead of diluting it in two hydrogens and an oxygen (that’s water, peeps–just trying to exercise those brain cells), like one blog mentioned, I poured a little in a bowl and directly applied it to a cotton ball. I also dipped a cotton SWAB in ACV. This was for the one zit I was afraid to apply too much pressure or material on. It immediately burned. But that’s a good sign. I did this at night, right before bed. The next morning, my acne was still there. But it was different. It had CALMED down. It was not red and blistering. It was more mild-like. The acne was there for a couple more days, but it was mangeable.
I continued to apply the ACV in the same fashion, morning and night. My face didn’t keep the funky-fresh smell. And the acne has been dying gracefully. This is my new favorite acne regime–it also makes my face glow!
Sore Throat: One winter, I made the mistake of taking a sip out of my roommate’s icecream shake. I didn’t know a gnarly throat-virus she had just gotten from her newly-minted boyfriend was festering insisde of her– and apparently that gingerbread icecream shake. The both of us were in severe, SEVERE pain. She looked up a recipe for homeopathic remedies because NOTHING was working. The recipe called for room temp water, ACV, and honey. We were to gargle with it. It smelled so terrible; I really hated someone. But it worked. Like, it WORKED.
So, these are my little experiences with ACV. Keep it in your medicine cabinet. Some people drink it like two hydrogens and an oxygen. But I am cool not doing that.